DON'T PRESS SEND
I called my medical insurance to dispute some doctor bills I'd received that had been submitted to my carrier and denied. The recorded voice of a lovely woman led me through the maze of prompts telling me what to press on my phone to 'better serve me.' After getting through the first number sequence that vaguely applied to my needs, my 16-digit account number was requested. I managed to key it in right the third time and the charming voice directed me to their website for service, and then repeated that, along with a sales pitch while I waited on the line for another 10 minutes.
I wanted to hang up, but didn't. I had several questions, and it would take too long to address my issues in writing clearly, so I had to talk with them to resolve to the problem. But left waiting on hold it occurred to me that they don't want problems. And questions answered directly are a liability. And issues? Well, we all have issues, honey.
I let fifteen more minutes pass before hanging up.
Two days later I called again, with the exact same results. I hung up twenty minutes into the call. I didn't have the time to wait on the line while getting two kids ready for preschool before going to work that morning.
A few days later I called again. After running the gauntlet of numbers a third time I waiting on the line to connect with a Customer Service Rep and found myself getting more and more agitated with each passing moment. They were blowing my time and I knew they didn't care. I guess to them, cutting staff for the minimal cost savings was worth part of my sanity.
I waited on hold for 15 minutes when the operator finally came on the line. The first thing she asked for was my account number, the same one I punched into the phone earlier. After a series of 'security questions,' twenty minutes into the call we at last get around to my issue, which I explained in great detail. The CSR put me on hold for several minutes before she came back on the line and informed me her records only went back 90 days, which did not address the bills in question. Her managers had access to my full records, but they were in meetings all day and I'd have to call back, or I could go to their website and file a dispute.
A half hour into the call and my blood was boiling. With a curt 'Thank you,' I hung up and logged onto their website.
In ten seconds I was on a webpage with a blank field for writing to Customer Care. It took me a good hour to construct a document that explained my problem clearly, and I sent it to them. The next day I got an email back from a service rep that told me he could not release my records without security information that he advised me not to give online, and then gave me an 800 number- the same one I had, to contact a manager to assist me.
I went back to their website. Anger poured off my fingers and into my words as I typed. I cursed them for making it as time consuming and difficult as possible to communicate. I indicted them for the billions they make annually from all the erroneous bills that get paid by customers who don't have the time or the will to run the maze to correct discrepancies. I threatened to exercise my right as an American and choose a different company, knowing it was futile since most corporations do the same thing, and even confessed to pondering if I'd get better service coming there with a gun, though I had no idea where my insurance company actually was. I purged because I could, because there was no one real on the other end.
It took me less than 10 minutes to exorcise my rant and I was still on rails when I dismissed the idea of deleting it. Full of self-righteous indignation, I pressed send.
That was a mistake. Within an hour I got a call from my husband. He.d been called by the head of HR at the multi-national corporation he worked for to inform him his wife had threatened to shoot the employees of their insurance carrier. My passionate denial and explanation of events leading to my email outburst saved me from prosecution. And to say the least, no one was pleased with me. But I did finally get to talk to a customer service manager, who researched my claims, and in the end the insurance company paid the doctor bills in dispute.